Grappling, Struggling, and Obeying

The One Lesson

(An excerpt from The One Lesson That Changed My Marriage by Joey Bonifacio)

My wife often complained that I was insensitive and not very good at empathizing. So every time I was with her, I grappled with the question, “How, in this moment, would I love Marie just as Christ loved His Church and gave Himself up for her?”

But over the years, I learned that there’s something about faith and trusting in the Word of God that makes loving your spouse not as difficult or burdensome. Whether you are a wife who’s questioning the logic of submitting to your husband, or a husband who’s struggling to learn to empathize with your wife, this truth applies to everyone. The Word of God works—and always works—when we fully trust, believe, and obey it.

It was only when I got serious about obeying God in this area of my life and believed that His Word was reliable and true that I eventually began to empathize with Marie.

Warm Heart

Amazingly, I started to enjoy empathizing with Marie. It made the Bible come alive, and I got to experience the reality that only a marriage could give: the reality of two people miraculously becoming one.

Then it happened. At first I thought it was a fluke until it kept happening again and again. Initially it happened when I had been traveling on the road for a while. Then it transitioned to even the simplest of encounters; like whenever Marie would enter a room.

It wasn’t everyday. It did not happen often, even. But every time it did, the sensation was unforgettable. I would, over and over again, feel that same warm sensation right smack at the center of my chest. And all was well.

I’ve heard other husbands talk about similar experiences. They were not all the same, but they all experienced being one in flesh with their wives as they obeyed the Word of God and received its promise.


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